Deciding who to marry is one of the biggest decisions a person
will make in their lifetime. It can cause stress and worry of choosing the
right person, and it can be incredibly overwhelming. There are certain steps to
take when deciding to marry: dating, courtship, engagement, and marriage. Maybe
it’s because it is so overwhelming, or maybe it is because the importance of marriage
relationships is declining, but many people are not deliberately choosing to
marry. They aren’t following the steps, and instead of making the conscious choice
to move from dating, to courtship, to engagement, to marriage, they are sliding
from one to the next.
When I was deciding to marry my now-husband, I wanted to
make sure he was someone I could create a happy and eternal marriage with. I am
grateful that my husband and I were able to make decisions and take these
certain steps to help build our relationship and prepare ourselves for
marriage.
Dating
My husband, Bryan, and I both went on dates with lots of
people before we dated each other. We were best friends in high school and
spent a lot of time together before we started going on dates. After high
school, we both served missions for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day
Saints and we wrote emails to one another each week. After I returned home, we
went on multiple dates including dinner, ice cream, making caramel apples, and
making enchiladas. While we were spending time together going on dates, we
decided that we wanted to continue our relationship in a more serious manner
and exclusively date each other as boyfriend and girlfriend.
Courtship
Bryan and I had a conversation to decide that we wanted to
pursue a relationship. Bryan made sure we were on the same page about the state
of our relationship and he asked me specifically if we were officially
boyfriend and girlfriend. We had a conversation about it and decided that we
both felt good about it.
Not long after this decision, Bryan moved to Texas to work
and I went to Utah for school. We spend a lot of time Facetiming and continuing
to get to know each other. It was special to not be together in person, because
I felt like I could get to know him on a different level than if we were together.
There was no physical aspect of our relationship.
During this time, we shared goals, worries, and plans for
the future, and we decided that we wanted to get married. He told me that he
wanted to marry me and we discussed it multiple times until we got engaged.
Again, it was a very conscious decision to move from one phase in our
relationship to the next.
Engagement
Bryan and I got engaged on August 9, 2017. He proposed on
one knee while we were hiking with some friends. I was ecstatic. While we were
engaged, we used the time to plan the wedding and continue to get to know one
another. We went through lots of important questions about finances, future
family, parenting styles, past relationships, etc. This time was vital to us in
learning about one another and deciding that we wanted to continue with our
engagement to marriage.
Marriage
Bryan and I were married on December 16, 2017 in the Idaho
Falls Temple. We are still learning new things about one another every day and
I am so grateful for that. I know that our time spent learning about one
another, and our deliberate and conscious decisions in furthering our
relationship have been a blessing for our marriage. I am grateful that Bryan
always made sure we were on the same page and that we both understood the status
of our relationship. I love being married to my best friend, and I love
learning more about him every day.
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